In Slice of Life

Wrapped Impactful Things Up Throughout 2018, What Turned Me To Be More Mindful (2/2)

It’s a really long struggle in the mid of 2018. The need of confronting bad luck is on the next level. All I want for throughout the year is people who treat their surroundings in a caring and mindful way. Just like what Kugy and Della has offered to me, the strength to deal with my struggle.

[One click away for previous story: Wrapped Impactful Things Up Throughout 2018, What Turned Me To Be More Mindful (1/2)]

August: Meaningful
The independence month took me to more meaningful journey. First and foremost, I went to Kahayya—remote highland area in hometown, Bulukumba—for being volunteer in Kelas Minggu Ceria. This community aims to enhance the interactive learning and empower primary schoolers through edutainment. My best moment that I eventually concerned more about early age education and give positive impacts even it was still a drop in the ocean. Another equally important, I sailed to Saugi Island along with Kugy and her friend. The same thing as Kahayya, Saugi also inhabited by younger generation who routinely attended class which was provided by volunteerism. Unlucky me, the moment when I went there wasn’t the school time.



One essential rule to live in peace is cut the toxic people who weigh you down off. Then trust me, all these people certainly won't get into the list. Well, actually, I'm not good enough at making conversation with new faces. Yet, mostly all i did is take deep heed of their inspiring stories and laugh over endless jokes. Life was easy back then. This is the best part, current independece day vibes-weekend are way far better than before. As I've dreamt since long time ago, I must involve in teaching volunteerism at remote rural, who needs education access the most. Never found the best timing before, now here I am, at Kelas Minggu Ceria in Kahayya, (possibly) the highest point of Bulukumba, 168 km away from Makassar, 1.600 metres above sea level. The struggle to get there is real tho. Long story short, the next day's coming. Since we still celebrate the Independence Day, there are lots of Independence vibes games (ie makan kerupuk, tusuk botol, estafet kemerdekaan, puzzle peta Indonesia, you name it) for native kids. Definitely, all the kids are so much adorable. Till the the last minutes, it turns out, Kahayya is the place you shouldn't visit only once. You're gonna miss the serenity of extremely cold weather, and covered-green land, and coffee farming, and having no internet access which are relieving insecurity and anxiety. Yas, holy crap, it takes merely one sleep to get me long for all precious moments. No wonder, now i know where all my friends' addictive feeling as being teaching volunteer comes from. Kahayya, KMC, till we meet again!
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After those remarkable journeys, I learnt one big thing. When I had talks with kids, it was not only me who transferred theoretical knowledge to them. Further and even more importantly, though, they taught me how to smile, laugh, and be happy for simple reasons. That what’s I almost forgot since few months ago. I mean, yeah, I used to smile and laugh out loud, but in a bitterly fake way.

September: Okay
Was beginning my very first September with new great circle which I had a lot in common. We got to know as the book club Makassar meeting was held. Kudos to the founders, Sike and Melan, who united us in such remarkable way. Anyways, this agenda also relieved me since laughter and jokes are so natural and clicked.



Unfortunately, I was also getting anxious due to the fact that I had to leave Makassar and all the good as well as bad things within it. The negative thoughts were getting intense, I considered my poor condition and might be getting worse when I would be in new and alienated place. I flew eventually to East Java and found that… hey, it wasn’t like what I thought before. This also brought me to deeper understanding as an over thinker: sometimes we are too frightened about the things which hadn’t occur yet, sometimes we put so much strains on our thought to think too much about it, but at last we would find out that everything will be okay, all we need to do is start and strive.



October: Healing
Being in a totally transformed place is a bit difficult for me. Adaptation used to put me in harsh time. So grateful that I was surrounded by warmhearted and fun-loving buddies here back then, it was that easy to adapt with new location. Another stressor, I realize, that I would get attach to them and since I won’t be that long to stay here, all the goodbye and farewell things would be such a mess at the end. I tried so damn not to get involved with the social interaction and pretended to be an antisocialist, yet my attempt always failed. They deserved my attention and no matter how melancholic I would be when the time had been over, I was still into them.

October was also my healing month over the period. Just like last year, I attended as volunteer at Ubud Writer and Readers Festival. Since my first sight, long before my first attendance, I had fallen in love soooo deep with the ambience and the festive of this 15 years agenda. Going in a solo traveling also rebuilt my confidence and independence regardless of how fragile I was at the moment. Reunited with old volunteers, forged strong bond with new ones, met inspiring speakers and fave authors, attended meaningful talks, stayed at peaceful and homey city, how come all those relieving moment gathered all at once? I couldn’t thank and ask for more. It was an utterly amazing month.



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November: Break
My pace in this month was going slower. Took two-week break from language class and decided to travel to Yogyakarta, the city of cultural and heritage of Java. What an amazing destination! Even the tragic part was more getting around the shopping center rather than visiting cultural site. My companion and I walked to Alun-alun and Taman Sari, but we ended up in Ambarukmo Plaza, Hartono Mall, Lippo, Filosofi Kopi, Tempo Gelato, you name it.

Anyways, I didn’t really enjoy November since gonorrhea attacked my pinky and sensitive body. My mobility was absolutely distracted, and even my parents also worried about my ailment which made me feel bitter. When I got sick, I was always deeply helpless and the worst part, I was thousand miles apart from home. Such a terrible pain. One full month was the time to fully cure this, after short break, GP consultation, and self-conventional treatment.

December: Combat
The last month was full of ending. The end of warm season, class, and few friends meeting. Yet, another pleasure appear as I achieved my reading challenge target, 35 over 35 and perhaps would be more till the end of the year. It was a tricky way actually since I attempted to read five books in a week which I felt so difficult in previous months. My desire to combat the challenge which I failed last year is in maximum degree, so I put a lot of time to finish my reading bucket list. Another lesson more, anything could come to us when we really put our effort into it.

To sum up, I didn’t feel that this year is running so fast. Everything was on their own constellation, normally. I reviewed what had been happened, contemplated and reflected more. The rest of the year would be easy, I wish. Next year would be more enticing to live within.

***

All those experiences this year had brought me to be more mindful person. Yeah, I’m still on my way to learn how to be more selfless when it comes to help people in need and I know it could take long life learning process. We admit, people live on their own struggle every single day. This fact should make us to be more concern, at least, to support our beloved families, friends, or acquaintances. Bear in mind, please, to keep being by their side and make them don’t feel alienated and lonely.

It’s truly, completely hard to live our perplexed life, it would be harder when we don’t have people to get along with us. Hear passionately their story if they don't mind. Be more compassionate, to our own self, to our surroundings!

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In Slice of Life

Wrapped Impactful Things Up Throughout 2018, What Turned Me To Be More Mindful (1/2)



This year is going to the end in a very soon. Realize I’ve never posted anything since the last acknowledgement about my graduation from bachelor degree, it’s the great timing for another new one. I knew that much, I’ve been experiencing so much ups and downs throughout 2018 and wrapped them up in the blog is somehow meaningful for me. One day, this year, I read “The Book of Questions” from Lala Bohang, asked me coincidentally, “When Was The Best Year Of Your Life?”. It is, not was, I answered to my own self. Here I wrapped all impactful things up during the year wholly.

January: Relief
Well, turning to the first day of 2018, I was on my duty for media relation of governor candidate. Lucky me that the job description had made me in pleasure due to festive welcoming new year night. Apart from huge tensions of almost all the time, I still thanked that I met my job satisfaction and being independent from parents.

As well, it was such a relief month. After carried out research over few months, the end of January was the moment when one such great achievement was unlocked. I filled with horror when situations got complicated and made me almost failing to sit the final exam. I was passed the test in average GPA yet still burst me into melting tears when my head of study program announced that I graduated literally.




So, this is how it feels, feeling like... Holy crap, I still can't get enough to believe that i'm already really done. After three years and 28 months as student, I lost my words, so let me just try to come out. Firstly, there's nothing I can express except gratitude to God for blessing me His greatest mercy much more than I deserve to achieve this point. For parents, families, lecturers, friends, colleagues, and all companions, thanks for always supporting me in so many various random ways. I owe you, all. Surely, writing thesis' gonna be my one of the most majestic stage of my life. I learn a lot from this, not only about conducting research for months, but also searching for meaning of my life, my personal evolution. I realized, so many things when getting finished my study, about not giving up easily and keep moving forward even in stressful situation and facing so many obstacles. I appreciate every single good and bad thing beyond the process. Eventually, i figure out this is really not the end. It's just another beginning to be better than ever, forever. Thanks a billion.
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February: Hectic
There was nothing special in this very short month which might be highly special for couple as Valentine Days within it. Still, I got back to my job routine which made me traveled around province. It was so hectic, but the end of the day I still enjoyed all those ambience. The thing was, the feeling of exhausted after working during daytime up to midnight distracted my distress about peer and other things. Oh, I almost forgot, I missed Lalala Fest and the chance to meet Oh Wonder under lush pine trees. Suck me.
                    
March: Nothing
Same agenda as the previous month. Not many impactful moment appeared, aside from working which was getting more intense since the election-day was around the corner.

April: Climax
I got the real definition of ups and downs in one single month. Idk but April indeed sounds so gloomy. Remember one indie song entitled April, this got me on one shot. The good news was, I attended my graduation ceremony and subsequently could see my parents and family were swelling with pride. Even I should endure the school year for 3 years and twenty something months, this was a noble moment for me. Battling all the thesis thingy were pretty easy, the hardest part was facing the supervisor and examiner, and I eventually made it. Let me say again many gratitude to all guys out there who helped me a lot.



The saddest part of April as well as 2018 was one bad news in the morning of 29th. Before the day, the date was my best one since I was born at the time. Yet it diverted when I answered my phone call just after I woke up, it was from my mom: Nek Ali’-my superhero grandfather was passed away. I immediately remembered the previous days when we were in a good companion. Taking care of him, two days before, in local hospital, I promised to not leave him. I lied because a few moments later, I should’ve join my working fellas to get back to the mandatory stuff.  This made me in so much regret, and made me in belief that it was my fault, and made me blame no one but me and myself. Bitterly devastated.



May: Struggle
The beginning of May was a bit struggling against misery. I joined my very first time of Makassar International Writers Festival as volunteer, In fact, it was unable to distract my loss of grandpa, let alone working routine. I even almost resigned from my current job back then since it made me couldn’t see my grandpa for the last time he took breath. I didn’t make it cause I realize it has nothing to do with the work, it was mine who didn’t put my grandpa on top of my priority scale.



Another thing, I flew to Jakarta as the reward from my supervisor which actually I did it last month as well. May was also the special month for student club which I got involved during college years. So glad that I met great persons here and being part of the second family, especially at the 42nd anniversary night.





June: Lone
The very first Ramadan without grandparents. Felt so lonely and missed my grandpa’s habits: during the day he recited Alquran and we often went to the mosque for tarawih prayer. It was merely memory till then. The election day also came, and turned out that my candidate didn’t win. At first, been so hard to accept the situation yet gradually dealt with it since it was not the first time I disappointed about stages of life.

July: Crisis
My lowest point throughout the year was on my birth month. Probably due to quarter life crisis and I lost many things in my life. Lost my grandpa, job, confident, and even crush. Well, I never mentioned Imaginary before in this post. July was the weakest tie which made us keep in between. Admittedly, all those complicated issues haunted me till I barely couldn’t get sleep each nights. The worst part, the feeling of abusive and suicidal thought have undergone by the end of July. Shout out to Kugy and Della who realized me to stay logic, rational, and alive.

To be continued, more to be revealed...

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In

Acknowledgement

So, this is how it feels, feeling like... Holy crap,  I still can't get enough to believe that i'm already really done. After three years and 28 months as student, I lost my words, so let me just try to come out. 

Surely, writing thesis' gonna be my one of the most majestic stage of my life. I learn a lot from this, not only about conducting research for months, but also searching for meaning of my life, my personal evolution. I realized, so many things when getting finished my study, about not giving up easily and keep moving forward even in stressful situation and facing so many obstacles. I appreciate every single good and bad thing beyond the process. 

Eventually, i figure out this is really not the end. It's just another beginning to be better than ever, forever. 

As I read novel or any other books, one part that i read carefully is the foreword or acknowledgement. That is where the authors put their whole heart to express anything. So, that's also what happen while I finished my thesis. The most personal and i give so much intention (it doesn't mean, another part is done by any old way). So, here it is. My full acknowledgement. 

All praise is due to Allah swt., the Great Almighty, the most merciful, the most beneficent, who bestowed upon the researcher endless blessing and supplied the love, the perseverance, and the guidance to undertake and complete this research. Also, may the peace and blessings be on the most noble of Prophets and Messengers, our Prophet Muhammad SAW, and on his family and all of his Companions. He has shown us the right ways, we will always be in the shelter of Allah until hereafter life.

Undertaking this research would also not have been possible without the support and encouragement of several people for whom the researcher would like to express his thanks and appreciation. The researcher asks Allah to bountifully reward all these people.

The deepest gratitude goes to the researcher’s beloved parents, Drs. H. M. Yusuf, M.Pd.I and Nuraeni, S.Pd. There is nothing in the world could pay what they have given, even the researcher himself know that their love is unconditional and endless. The researcher also would like to extend his gratitude to beloved brother and sisters, Ummil Wildaeni Al Hidayah, M. Rifqi Hanif Yusuf, and Rifqah Annisa Yusnita. Without their repetition questioning the researchers’ graduation, he could not be always kept in track on his thesis completion. Also, to his grandparents, H. Abdul Thalib, (Alm) Kasamung, (Alm) Marzuki, and (Alm) Rabong who has given very early education since childhood. Their lesson life is really meaningful until these days.

Dokumentasi Pribadi

Very great appreciation is also goes to: Prof. Dr. Husain Syam, M. TP., as the Rector of UNM; Prof. Dr. Abdul Rahman, M. Pd., as the Dean of FMIPA UNM; Dr. Awi Dassa, M. Si., as the Head of Mathematics Department of FMIPA UNM; Sutamrin, S. Si., M. Pd., as the Secretary of Mathematics Department of FMIPA UNM; Dr. Hisyam Ihsan, M.Si. as the Coordinator of  International Class Program of FMIPA UNM; Dr. Asdar, S. Pd., M. Pd., as the Head of Mathematics Education Study Program of Mathematics Department of FMIPA UNM. The researcher is very thankful due to providing necessary infrastructure and resources to accomplish his bachelor degree in mathematics education.

Dokumentasi Pribadi


The researcher is also extremely indebted to Sabri, S. Pd., M. Sc., and Ja’faruddin, S. Pd., M. Pd., as academic advisors who have given support and encouragement in getting the researcher’s bachelor degree.  The researcher also would like to express his great appreciation to Prof. Dr. H. Hamzah Upu, M. Ed. and Prof. Dr. Ruslan, M. Pd., as the supervisors who have guided and assisted until the end of this research. The researcher considers it is his privilege to have accomplished this thesis under their right guidance.Highly heartfelt thank is also given to Dr. Ilham Minggi, M. Si. and Sutamrin, S. Si., M. Pd., as the examiners of  this research. Their constructive comments and suggestions are very helpful to the success of this research.

The researcher also would like to thank to Dr. Ilham Minggi, M. Si and Nasrullah, S. Pd., M. Pd., as the validators of this research’s instruments. Without their valuable advice, the researcher could not carry his research work carefully.  Also, a sincere thanks to Syahrullah Asyari, S. Pd., M. Pd., as the proof reader on the great attention and patience in correcting the writing of thesis in English.

Many thanks to all the lecturers and staffs of Mathematics Department of FMIPA UNM who have educated and helped the researcher in college things. Gratitude is also goes to Suaib Ramli, S. Pd., M. Pd., as Headmaster of SMP Negeri 1 Makassar, who has provided the research location; Herlina Ali, S. Pd., as Mathematics Teacher of SMP Negeri 1 Makassar who has very kindly facilitated the researcher in her classroom; and all students at Grade IX SMP Negeri 1 Makassar who have taken part in this research and cooperated very well.

The researcher owes a deep sense of gratitude to his two good friends, Imaginary and Kugy (Fitrah Amalina).  The researcher has so many things to pay off for Imaginary thing, such as keep being happy while struggling, even suffering pain. Surely, he will never achieve good self-improvement without the encouragement in such weird thing of Imaginary. And Kugy, thanks for being partner-in-“crying”, for sharing good and hard times together, for keep asking whether the researcher is okay.

The researcher also would like sent heartfelt thanks to Ririn Mamiek Wulandari, S.Psi and Muhammad Yusran Basri, S. Pd., for their suggestions in writing research proposal, Iwan Setiawan H.R, S. Pd., for his 24-hours available on call in helping to make research instrument and conducting research, and also Kameliani, S. Pd., for her willingness in helping data analysis of this research. They deserve a lot more.

The researcher also greatly appreciates the best days with his second warm family, The All Crew of Lembaga Pers Mahasiswa Profesi UNM. We know nothing else better than our bond, strong and strengthen. Thanks for always giving courage to the researcher in all good way, for building the researcher’s capacity in physically and mentally, and for very amazing four years and still counting. Especially for Kesebelasan: Agung Rinaldy Malik, Ari Maryadi, Arnawan Arief, Febriawan Djalil, Mentari Jati Pratiwi, Nur Fadly, Nurul Irsal Amalia, Rachmad Wajo, Rajab, and Rosni Armin. They always know how to put smile on the researcher’s face, even for some inexplicable reasons.


Dokumentasi Pribadi

The researcher is also thankful for togetherness of college mates in ICP B Mathematics 2012: Abdul Salam, Ardillah, Awaliyah Mustakim, Besse Nurul Agustini, Dian Kharisma, Fadli, Fita Paramitha Husain, Fivy Alvionita Agustin, Hairunnisa, Hairunnisa Mahyuddin, Inggit Susilowati, Kamelia Angka, Muhammad Fathan, Muhammad Yusran, Nurmawaddah Rustam, Ramdhan Nur Cahyadi, Ria Rezeki, Sri Rahayu Ary Orbani, and Zulfadli. The researcher will never enjoy the campus life without their nice friendship and great help since freshman year. The same thankful is also goes to friends at ICP A Mathematics 2012, Epsilon (Mathematics 2012), all seniors and juniors in the Mathematics Department of FMIPA UNM. 


Dokumentasi Pribadi


Priceless time with Mathematics Computer Laboratory (Labkommat) assistants is highly appreciated. The researcher feels so thankful for every chance that he could take anytime there, for the warm hug that always welcomes back, again and again. Also, to all the assistants in the Mathematics Department for cooperating and helping in need, indeed.


Dokumentasi Pribadi

The researcher would like to express his very great appreciation to all great teacher and tentors at TK Abbulo Sibatang, TK/TPA Nurul Bustan, SD 22 Allu, SD 175 Bulo-bulo, Balangriri Intensive English Course, SMP 1 Bulukumpa, SMA 1 Bulukumpa and JILC. There are so many great experience and inspirations that has brought the researcher to this position. Especially, for Mathematics teacher, Nurhani, S. Pd and English teacher since childhood, Ruaedah, S. Pd and Drs. Muh. Alwi.

Deep gratitude goes to the researcher’s friends at TK Abbulo Sibatang, TK/TPA Nurul Bustan, SD 22 Allu, SD 175 Bulo-bulo, Balangriri Intensive English Course, SMP 1 Bulukumpa, SMA 1 Bulukumpa and JILC. Without their friendship, there can’t be comfortable school and brand new day to seize with. The best gratitude to Besties, junior high school mates: Andi Arifah Nurmala, Andi Ummul Aisyah, Asmawati, Asriyengki Amir, Desi Anggraeni, and Eka Fitriani. Thanks for being moodbooster to forget all worries every time catching up together.

Last but not the least, the researcher would like to thanks to all people who could not be mentioned one by one, both good and bad one, who he had ever met in life. He strongly believes that every single people always make impact to his life until this day. Good people bring happiness, bad people teach lessons. Thanks a billion.

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In Imaginary Talk

God, Supposedly It Ain't Wrong

Finally, after a long waiting. The time is really coming. I admire from afar my good friend, too good friend, an imaginary, you. It has been about to four years, till now.

But i just can't keep this feeling always keep burning my whole self. It shouldn't be. The secret should be revealed, at least for me and for Imaginary. Not for the others. Sorry for Kugy for never being shared who is the unlucky person. I know, Kugy never want too much to know who is Imaginary since Trigonometry or Integral things.

What I've been waiting for, the chance to speak out loud how I love you, how Imaginary means a lot to me directly, in all good and bad times, go back and forth. The confession.
Then, I told to you that I love you, truly love. The worst part, I confessed to you about my feeling when you said your second last goodbye. Yess, it was the second time you said your farewell words. The first one, we got back together and kept last till last night, a so much horrible night. And from now on, the never ever getting back together thing will works. In a big possibility.

Me, my self, still getting confused why people change in a so fast cycle. Yesterday was should be good. I supposed everything will be okay, then. Yesterday, you listened to our favorite songs, you smiled to me, you glanced at me. How I wished everyday was should be like yesterday. I tweeted it before. 
I just don't really realize if it was your signal, to another part of us. Till last night. You got really mad at me, a strong goodbye, poorly.

In the end, what I'm trying to say, I feel sorry for everything mistaken in our relationship. For everything we've been through, it was a good memories that I'll keep only by myself. For everything, thanks for being part of my youth.

Supposedly, it's the best way that we must take. Supposedly, it ain't wrong anymore. Now another time  has come, time to let go. In a real definition.

Let's get back to be just friend. Can we make it easy, can we be friends?

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In Campus

Albert Einstein, PKI, dan Turbulensi Pesawat


“Ada film saya tonton, ceritanya kerbau pergi ke bulan hari ini, terus kembali ke bumi kemarin… Itu kan dari teori relativitasnya Albert Einstein.”

“Senin ini diundang Upacara Hari Kesaktian Pancasila. Eh, itu PKI beragama atau tidak? Barangkali individunya tetap beragama, ya.”

“Pernah naik pesawat, tiba-tiba itu pesawatnya turun ke bawah, jadi kepala kita terbentur ke atas. Begini karena ada vakum udara, istilahnya turbulensi.”

Sulit untuk menemukan hubungan antara Albert Einstein, PKI, dan turbulensi pesawat secara sekaligus. Untuk berpasang-pasangan pun, antara Albert Einstein-PKI, PKI-turbulensi pesawat, dan Albert Einstein-turbulensi pesawat masih belum begitu kentara kaitannya.

Albert Einstein, ilmuwan fisika yang merumuskan teori relativitas. PKI, organisasi politik yang sudah dimatikan sejak zaman Orde Baru di Indonesia dan bagi sebagian orang menganggap mulai bangkit kembali (meskipun saya pribadi merasa ini hal konyol). Turbulensi pesawat, gangguan selama penerbangan yang membuat penumpang pesawat akan merasa terancam maut.

Can you figure out what’s the same thing between the three of them? ‘Cause I ain’t.
Sama seperti herannya saya, ketika ketiga perkara itu jadi topik pembahasan antara penguji, pembimbing, dan peserta saat menjelang dimulai dan pasca selesainya presentasi ujian hasil saya.

Yeah, damn, I’m done. Ignore it, if I’m friggin’ freak about this step: the moment where I can officially say “one step closer”. Norak, ye kan?

But, in the end, it’s such a relief, I pass and get through of this. Beberapa hari sebelumnya, saya memang tidak banyak mempersiapkan menuju hari ini. Setelah disahkan dengan “acc” dari dua pembimbing, saya mengurus segala tetek bengek administrasi untuk penjadwalan ujian. Bicara tentang jadwal ujian, sedianya saya sudah melewati tahap ini sejak seminggu yang lalu. Namun karena kedua pembimbing saya sedang ada urusan yang lebih dahulu terjadwal, saya harus ikhlas dan merelakan untuk hal yang kesekian kali. I shoulda told you, I’m an expert about letting things go.

Sejak tahu kalau jadwal saya ditunda minggu lalu, saya juga menunda membuat presentasi. Bukan perkara balas dendam, hanya karena memang ada prioritas lain yang lebih dibutuhkan dengan segera. I’ve told you before about letting things go, right?

Jadi, berkas presentasi itu baru diselesaikan beberapa hari jelang hari ini. Hingga semalam sebelumnya pun, saya tidak banyak mempelajari ulang materi penelitian. Let it be, saja. And voila!!! I’m really done.

Sekarang, saya sedang mengingat-ingat proses yang telah dilewati hingga ke tahap ini. Betapa, ada banyak pelajaran hidup yang saya peroleh selama mengerjakan hasil penelitian. Ini bukan hanya sekadar merampungkan tugas akhir dengan membaca literatur, lalu melaksanakan penelitian, hingga menyimpulkan dan menjawab pertanyaan penelitian. That’s kinda wasting time, kalau memang benar hanya seperti itu.

Jauh lebih banyak dari sekadar pengaruh akademik saja. Sejak menentukan judul penelitian, kita diajak untuk menjadi lebih peka dengan diri sendiri dan dunia sekitar. For the sake of what stuffs that you’re gonna put yourself into doing research, yang menjadi fokus penelitian tentu tak bisa jauh-jauh dari kebutuhan diri dan pengamatan. And I choose “academic stress in mathematics problem solving”, guess why?

Sepanjang proses penelitian pun, saya menemukan banyak hal baik. Ketika salah menargetkan instrumen penelitian, saya belajar untuk sungguh-sungguh merencanakan sesuatu dengan matang sebelum mengerjakan. Lalu, saya juga belajar untuk bisa memperbaiki kesalahan sesegera mungkin.
Ketika melakukan penelitian, saya juga paham betapa siswa SMP yang menjadi subjek penelitian bisa menjadi guru. Saya tidak selalu benar dalam mengarahkan mereka, saya tidak selalu menjadi apa yang diinginkan oleh mereka, kemudian saya tidak melulu menjadi pihak yang selalu berbicara. Dengan mendengarkan, ada banyak hal yang bisa saya pelajari meski dari yesterday afternoon kids; kids jaman now.

Ketika melakukan triangulasi, translasi, koding, reduksi, kondensasi, analisis, inferensi, semua bagian dari penelitian punya cara-caranya dalam mempelajari hal yang lebih kompleks. Tidak hanya mentok pada bagian itu saja. Seperti translasi dan koding yang selalu dipraktekkan di kehidupan sehari-hari.
And this is the best part, literally, mengerjakan sesuatu dengan sungguh-sungguh memang menjadi lebih berfaedah. Walaupun saya tidak banyak mempelajari ulang menjelang seminar hasil, tapi karena terlibat langsung sejak awal hingga akhir, it doesn’t need a lot of effort anymore until today.

Hasilnya, ada beberapa revisi dari penguji, and I think I can handle it. Another one thing, at last, terima kasih untuk pembahasan Albert Einstein, PKI, dan turbulensi pesawat yang membuat seminar hasil tidak menjadi begitu seram. Ketiga perkara itu itu cukup mendistraksi dari lebih banyak pembahasan dan pertanyaan yang pelik selama seminar.


I thank to Albert Einstein, PKI, dan turbulensi pesawat! With all due respect.

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