In Imaginary Talk

Imaginary, What Do We Really Have?

What I love the most about the dusk is it always reminds me of you. It comes only for a while, but then disappeared. Repeatedly. (Foto: Kugy)
Loving you leaves my heart hurts.

"You'll never really love someone until you learn to forgive." - Ben&Ben

There's a question I can't get out of my mind these days. Sometimes, we woke up and feel so burdened. I just did. There's a name that always keep calling by myself.

I realize, i have never made special writing about her lately. Okay, sometimes i put in a few short paragprahs, in a random post. A little not over too much. I have some reasons about that. Like... i just couldn't make it too clear that i'm still into her, not anymore. I got so many fears, and one fear is about making a distance between us more and more. That's what I can't handle it anymore.

But, those fear, how could I suppose to have? We're not even a couple. Sometimes, we were really stranger. Even most times. *sigh

Imaginary, what do we really have?

One of my friend, once asked me, what do we really have? It always resounds in my thought after she asked me that silly question. Till this morning. My friend told me, even after three years and over, what do we really have?

I replied, we're get better. More and more day. I know, I was lied.

Even she told me, our stuff is possibly like merry-go-round, feeling goes away but actually nothing happened. We're still at the same point, not even changed. Stuck.

Imaginary, what do we really have?

Hey, i just found the answer. All of a sudden. Faith. I believe in her. I shouldn't hesitate even I'm not around. My stuff is, i'm not gonna cheat on her. And i do hope, she does. These days, i'm gonna be little less time with her and i should't have any scars and fears. We're gonna be okay. I should keep believing and faith. That's all, that's it.

'Cause I believe in her. And won't cheat like another guy who always talks that  he loves her.

Yep, what I'm trying to say is, I'll never cheat on someone that I love. For any reason's sake. How dare I cheat when I don't want to be cheated?

Just like once I caught her writing, "you're the only one for me, why I'm not the only one", imaginary?

P.s: I'm just thinking to post this "rubbish", because I've been to weak writing in draft and deleting over and over again. 

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